Ruddiger van Der Hoosen is preparing to die.

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Vadadoriya, Batukbhai (1990-08-14)
Vag, Yaron (1979-04-20)
Vaid, Kant (1975-11-12)
VAJPAYEE, ABEER (1983-12-26)
Valentine, Nigel (1971-03-23)
Valo, Clare (1990-01-20)
Van Der Hoosen, Ruddiger (1976-12-07)
Van Der Put, Cees (1977-09-30)
Vardanian, Gor (1978-02-27)
Vasquez, Michael (1993-08-28)
Vaughan, Megan (1984-02-01)
Veil, Calpurnie Moreen Proodence (1988-04-18)
Velasco, Elizabeth (1990-02-01)
Verkade, Alex (1976-09-30)
Vicious, Shelest (0000-00-00)
Vincent, Jade (1990-06-29)
Vincent, Rob (1977-11-12)
Voigt, Valerie (1953-10-10)
Von Sexmachine, Billiam (1988-01-07)
Voskoboinikov, Michelle (0000-00-00)
W
Y
Z

DISPOSAL
Burial in a rather large plot of land enclosed by an electrified fence that includes a plaque. Or if I die poor, the state cemetary.

COFFIN
The cheapest one you can find.

RELIGION
Just don't mention stuff like "He's with the angels now" or "He is with God". Nothing judeo-Christian. I like Science Fiction so maybe Scientology.

GUESTS
Al Gore, he's a douche.

MUSIC
"Enjoy the Silence" - Depeche Mode "What time is Love?" - The K.L.F. "Pace is the Trick" - Interpol "Disintegration" - The Cure (The whole Album in order) "Substance" - New Order (The Album) "Behaviour" - Pet Shop Boys (The Album)

READINGS
Just make Davesh write and read aloud a 5 page essay about my life. Also at least one woman from my past should jump on to the coffin at some point and yell "Take me instead!". If I have the money, I'd also like to pay for the appearance of at least 1 A or B-list celebrity to simply appear at the ceremony. He/She would be instructed to be overheard saying "What a great guy" and "My life is not going to be the same" at some point through out the day.

EPITAPH
"I told you I wasn't feeling well"

OBITUARY
"Oh...yeah now I remember! That guy!"

OTHER
Sorry for being such a fucking inconvenience.