Here is what 'David Lloyd' has submitted under Obituary:
Unoccupied, David Lloyd was the champion of nothing much for nearly 22 years, his late-night ride through lifeís big shiny spit bucket of light bulbs, the reflections of memory he found in the puddles around his home, none of these things ever really got him anywhere. He led the way in promoting nothing new, from absolutely nothing, through almost something to fuck it why bother. David Lloyd was, at first sight, the antithesis of many of the things he loved. Bemusing, bearded sometimes, softly Ė though mostly not hilariously - spoken, he was more like a favourite comic book illustration than a friend, brother, husband, father or son. Yet Lloyd's uncompromising encouragement of fat idiots without talent transformed the face of his own life every time he gazed upon a mirror. His life ran like a failing pulse, always there but not really, three nights a week he would pray to various gods for forgiveness, having never really done anything wrong, but it felt nice and so he went on doing it. He also presented his passion for masturbation to a doctor Ajaz once, in the form of a condition diagnosed as chronic masturbationalism, and wished afterwards that the doctor and he might be friends, but they never spoke again. He was born we know that much, born distant, perhaps born twice, maybe even three times. He attended St. Francis of Assisi R.C. school which he hated and loved, an ordeal and joyride which was offset by finding himself alone and blue, all grown up and useless to anyone but those starving and dying of stuff he didnít care to much about. "Everything changed when I heard Elvis," he later reflected. "Just how it changed Iíll never know." He once said: "Excuse me, does this bus stop anywhere near the church in Blakenall?" And then got the bus. Riding it to the stop next to the church.